A few weeks ago I was out in Utah, my home state, to attend some training and visit with my family. Unfortunately, while I was out there, my brother-in-law's father passed away. I was acquainted with Robert Maxwell Hacker, who everyone knew as Bob, only casually. Growing up, I visited with him several times at my sister's house or at family parties. But I haven't spent that much time in Utah over the past 25 years.
I was able to attend Bob's funeral. It was a special event as his children, grandchildren and friends all provided personal, poignant remembrances of Bob the man, Bob the father, and Bob the Grandpa.
At a young age Bob was a bona fide war hero, a WWII veteran, flying carrier-based fighter aircraft in the Pacific. He was honored with a moving graveside service provided by a local chapter of the Disabled American Veterans (a very worthwhile charitable organization). But Bob's military career was little known to most of us...we just remember the friendly, hard-working air traffic controller or retired man-about-town.
Here's my direct, personal recollection of the man. Hard-working and fun-loving. Usually had a big smile on his face and a funny story to tell. We talked about cars a lot. Not much to go on really, but I can tell you a lot more about the man based on some indirect observations.
Bob was remembered fondly by his friends and the locals from the old neighborhood where I grew up. A man always ready for some friendly conversation or willing to help when needed.
But most of all he was well-loved by his family. His daughter Becky and son Val stood by him and cared for him until the end, supported by Bob's many grandchildren. Even his former wife, Faye, was there. Now how many people have former spouses willing to help when the end is near, and even have nothing but kind words to say at the funeral?
For me, Bob's family represents his true legacy and in many ways speak the loudest about the man. Bob left behind a son and daughter who are kind and hard-working, just as he was. Bob's grandchildren (my nieces and nephews) are (mostly) well-behaved, productive young folk, with a long list of talents and accomplishments, some of whom are starting young families of their own. I'm sure there are some squabbles now and then, but the sisters and brothers, sons and daughters all get along well. They take care of each other and their friends and extended family. They love each other.
Now there are likely many reasons for this, but one common denominator is "Grandpa Bob". A man who ensured some of his best traits were passed on to the next generation through personal instruction, but mostly through example. He will definitely be missed, but will remain present in the hearts of his friends and family for years to come.
Religion and the afterlife are always tricky subjects, especially in Utah. But I do know without a shadow of a doubt that when it's time for us to move on to the next realm, and when we look for Grandpa Bob, he'll be there to meet us with a wave and his trademark smile.
