Neighbors

Old Words

Old words...new meanings

Maritim...trains...New Orleans

white trash...tattoos...love

picnic...whisper...Africa

graveyards...beignets...sea monkeys

Missing You

Natasha,

It’s Friday morning, early, as I compose this.  I’ve been awake since 1am thinking of you.  I’m lying in bed with my little flashlight and my pen and notebook from Germany.  I’ve been staring out my window, wishing I could convert myself into a beam of light and fly to California just so I could see you again, if only for a moment.  I miss you.  I’d like to be a little ghost following you around, so I could see what you’re up to.  Maybe you’d feel my presence.  Hopefully I wouldn’t give you the creeps!!

Now it’s 2:30am, which is 3:30pm Thursday afternoon for you (we haven’t switched to daylight savings time yet, so for now we’re only 11 hours ahead of you...we switch forward this Sunday).  The romantic part of me hopes that as I lay here missing you, you can feel me close.  The realist in me supposes you are up to your cute little elbows in blood and fat as you rip veins out of people’s legs.  I’ve spent the last 20 mins or so trying to focus thoughts in my mind, feelings in my heart, and power in my soul…focus all that energy and send it your way.  Not quite as amazing as converting myself into a beam of light, but much more doable.  I do believe it’s possible to send out energy this way.  I hope you had a spare, calm moment or two Thursday afternoon and that you were able to feel it.  I hope that you still want to feel it.  I hope that someday soon wi’ll be able to fell that power again, together, in person. I miss your companionship.

---------------

It's about noon on Saturday now.  Both Friday afternoon and Saturday morning I took a little nap on my couch.  Each time I wished you'd been here to snuggle up.  I would have wrapped my arms around you, your back to my chest, I would have held you close, whispered in your ear, kissed your neck, and we could have dozed off for a while.  I long to be with you.

I hope you are well.  Please take care.

Love,

Boris

Connections

Our heart’s connection

power trancending distance

Does she feel it too?

Friday at the Monastary

Super Natasha,

I've been working a string of nights Wed-Fri which makes it difficult to get over to the internet to send anything off.  Here is a quick little note that covers the past few days.  It is Friday evening as I write this.

Thursday night/Friday morning you missed a very beautiful moon here.  I think she was full, or quite close to it.  I saw her as she came up in the twilight sky (kinda like the last poem I sent you).  The sky was so clear and she was big and bright.  I'm sad that I didn't have my favorite RTSC bitch here to walk perimeter with me, but at least I had my second favorite bitch -- Otto.   We walked about 0100 Friday morning, the temp was about 30 degrees.  The moon seemed close enough to reach out and touch.  There were stars visible too, I could make out the big dipper, but I think Orion and our red star had set already, because I could not find them.  Then, around 0600 the sky was getting light in the east and the moon was just getting ready to set in the west.  She was peach colored as she started to go down. She was so very beautiful.  She makes me miss you.  I hope you got to see her in your neck of the woods.

The moon was full Fri night Sat morning...it was mostly cloudy but she did peak out from time to time.

 

Here's more stupid shit you probably do not want to hear.  On Thursday, I cried twice yesterday thinking about you.  First time I was reading an article in a motorcycle magazine, how gay is that?  Some guy wrote in about a pretty ride he took his significant other on, made me wish we were out riding.  It would be fun to take a week or two and just hit the road.  No real plans, just take it one day at a time.  Then as I was sleeping during the day I was crying when I woke up from a dream.  We had just met at some airport and I was holding you close and it felt so good, felt so real.  Then I woke up.  Boo!

Later, I guess to make up for the G rated romantic dream, I went back to sleep for a while and woke up feeling stiff, thinking of you and me in the shower, all nice and soapy, I was standing behind you.  I was definitely whispering your name later.
 

Back to the real world, last night I got caught up on all the paperwork I needed to do to get ready for the rotation next week.  I'll be senior deputy for the last three weeks.  John M. will be out here as site commander.

Karl asked me about you, if I'd heard from you at all.  I told him I thought you were doing good.  He is doing great here...is staying an extra 3 weeks and I think they've hired another permanent PA.  Leslie seems to be doing good as well.  Karl went into town and got a pedicure yesterday.

I don't want to sound like too much of an ass, but I think Richard has gotten louder and even more inane over the past few months.  It is painful to be in the same room (no, make that building) as him.

I hope you are doing well and having some fun.  Please take care of yourself.  I miss you.

Boris

PS.  Speaking of pedicures...feel free to send me some feet pictures if you have a new color you want to show off.  Guess what, I read in my Pushkin book that he had a "thing" for women's feet and actually wrote a verse or two about them in one of his poems.  If I find it I'll send it to you.

PSS.  Speaking of pictures...I'll be happy to see some of you and the new grandbabies when they arrive as well.

PSSS.  Speaking of dreams and movie ratings, there are a few items in the XXX email folder...I didn't know if you'd noticed or not...in case you have an itch that needs scratching.

After Sunset

I wrote this on Tuesday evening.  I was walking back to my room after dinner, the moon was shining bright, she’d been up for a couple hours.  I went and got my monocular and came back outside to get a closer look, which then inspired me because I had to run upstairs and write this all down.

After the sun’s just gone down

and the sky fades to pale blue

As I stare up at the three-quarter moon

my heart reaches out to find you

Unfortunately you’re so far away

Like the orb that’s creamy white

I’d give everything just to have you stay

right here in my arms for tonight

I think of my beautiful lover dear

a thousand times a day

Sometimes I feel like you’re with me here

Then sadly, the vision melts away

But today I was reading a Pushkin book

lying on my couch, not sitting in a chair

I looked down at my shirt when a break I took

And discovered a beautiful long white hair

It felt so good when I thought of you

I had to suppress a giggle

I remembered you looking in my eyes of blue

And how your perfect round ass used to wiggle

I want to see your big brown eyes
I want to feel your hair

I want to caress your beautiful thighs

with or without underwear

I try to reach across the miles

writing words and feelings true

As I think of you I can’t help but smile

then I miss you and I’m blue

I hope as you go about your busy day
you think of me, but not too much
Please know that I want you in every way
Your sweet whispers, the soft of your touch

We’ve been apart much longer than

we’ve ever been together

Somehow that must be part of the plan

Just a slight obstacle on the way to forever

So if you happen to read these lines

please know it is you that I miss

I hope someday soon you will be mine

and we’ll share a long, wet, loving kiss

Eyes Closed

Closing my eyes, I

imagine us together

perfect happiness

Feelings

I want to be with you every minute of every day

But I know that will probably never be our future

It will be enough for me to know that we belong to each other

I will be yours, completely

I will think of you and you’ll feel me close

Do you feel me now?

Even though we might be separated by thousands of miles, we’ll be together

I’ve experienced that feeling over this past year and it only grows stronger

When we are able to spend time together it will be like we were never apart

The warmth, the fun, the connection, the peaceful feeling

I wish I were smart enough to understand what our connection is

But even if I could figure it out, I’d be unable to find the words to describe it

I wish that I could – it would make one hell of a love letter

I’m attracted to you physically, of that there is no doubt

But it is so much deeper

I’m attracted to who you are inside

I want to discover all your secrets, yet I feel like I’ll never really know you

I have the unshakeable feeling that we belong together

We complement each other

I know you don’t need me to be happy

But I want to be a part of your life - not take over your life

I want to help you achieve your dreams

I want to support you, to take care of you

I’ll be the stranger/neighbor, just be there when you need me

I want to surrender to these feelings – let them overwhelm me

I’ve been in love – twice - but I’ve never felt anything like this before

You help me discover hidden things about myself

You make me feel like a woman

But at the same time I want to be your man

It’s not that you “complete me”, but that you make me feel complete

You give me something that I need

I hope I do the same for you

I hope we can help each other discover the rest of life’s adventures

A Good Day

I want to spend an entire day in bed with you.

We’ll be all stocked up with snacks (chocolate cherries, berry pie, potato chips and turtles) and beer and White Russians

We’ll have an iPod attached to some speakers

I’ll make you coffee

I’ll cook you breakfast

We’ll get caught up on each other’s lives

We’ll eat chocolate cherries and berry pie off each other

We’ll find other ways to get sticky

We’ll soak in the tub

I’ll admire your latest pedicure as I rub your still-perfect feet

I’ll give you a thorough spa treatment (yes, of course it will be full service…I know how you like it)

You’ll drape your hair all over me

We’ll make out

We’ll make love

We’ll make sea monkeys

We’ll wrestle

We’ll help each other pee

We’ll snuggle up and doze off

I’ll pretend to be sleeping as you kiss me awake

Your face will get tickled by my chest hair

But I’ll shave (twice) so it won’t get scratched by my whiskers

We’ll read interesting tidbits to each other

We’ll have travel books and maps handy to chart our next adventure

We’ll stare into each others eyes and watch them get wet

We’ll whisper

We’ll admire our tattoos

We’ll take a beautiful journey together although we never leave

Moonlight

Moon’s pure light shines down
brightening snow covered night
does she feel him close to her?
His heart yearns for reunion
Please moon, let us meet again

Another Lonely Night

Another lonely night in the box

where the hell is my white haired fox?

The moon overhead shines so bright

I wish we were together tonight

Somewhere domestic or exotic no matter

as long as I can hear your sweet jabber

I want to hold you and look in your eyes

and kiss you and tickle your thighs

Separations are hard, yet not so terrible

just knowing you’re out there makes life bearable

The promise of seeing you again is so sweet

the possibility is what makes my heart beat

My attraction to you I can’t explain

sometimes it feels like a runaway train

Can you please find a way to forgive me?

I want to be your one and only

We need to extricate selves from “situations”

so we can begin more normal relations

Hopefully soon we’ll each live alone

free to come visit and email or phone

I can’t imagine a future without you

to my lover and girlfriend I will be true

But if for some reason this is the end

then I hope you will always call me friend